It's been a long long time since I last blogged. A really long time. I'm pretty sure nobody is going to read this, because I've left this part of the internet so dark nobody ever stops by anymore. Actually, I'm just here to officially close down this blog, part ways with this part of my life, and try to move forward. If you've been reading my entries, then no worries, you won't be missing much.

As some of you (or none of you) may know, I graduated at the end of 2010. That was a sweet period. My girlfriend (now ex, more on that later), came to surprise visit and that was really great. After graduation, took a break and went back to Brunei for a bit. Spent X'mas in KK, attended my cousin's wedding with her, and more importantly my family, and then the usual January to March ordeal (CNY, etc etc).

Landed my first job in March 2011, stayed for 4 months, gave up because I felt like some of the people I was working with were morons, and I'm pretty sure some of them still are. The smarter ones have already left the company. I took a short break to spend time with her when she came over for a vacation (went up to Genting, had a good time) and then immediately after, I found another job to start. Worked there for a month, didn't pass the probation, and moved on. I did learn a lot though.

After that I wandered around aimlessly without much luck in landing a job. And after a while she came over to study here, I assumed it was to be with me as well, but I guess that was my ego speaking. Things were sweet the first few months, nothing seemed like it could go wrong. But after a while, I guess I didn't put in that much effort to show her that I still care, and that I'm thankful that she came here to be with me.

Things unraveled so quickly, I didn't have time to react well. By the end of the year, I landed my 3rd job. Started working and etc. She seemed to have drifted away due to the lack of my presence. In the end, away from my absence, someone else entered the scene, and there was nothing I could do about it. All I can do is blame myself for this in the end. Feel disappointed because we couldn't be more, and we couldn't have done more. I'm mad yes, because I became an option, but I can't stay mad forever.

I suppose in relationships, you can't get too comfortable. You shouldn't stop trying either. Things get stale fast. Things get tiring fast. Arguments escalate, and no matter what, after it's over, things won't go back to the way they were. Someone will be left more damaged than the other, or both will take the blow hard. Always remember that the choices you make can affect someone so much..that you'll change their lives.

I don't think I'll be getting into another relationship so soon..because honestly, I still have feelings for her. I've always entered a relationship prepared to give my all, and now..I've got my all taken away..so I need the time to gain myself back. Find an even ground to stand on, and climb my way back up before I start searching again. But who knows..it could be the calm before a storm..shit could get worst, but things can also get better..I hope it's the latter. But all in all..I miss you, or at least who I thought you were when you were with me.

With that..I'm closing this chapter of my life away. These past 6-7 years have been wonderful. I don't know if you'd remember me next time, but I hope you'll be happy with him. I'm moving forward now. Who knows, maybe I'll start a blog someplace else..but for now, Goodbye. =')