about me

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Name:: Kevin Tan, Vin, Tan, Kev, Kebin Boi, Shin, Kevie-kun, etc etc..
D.O.B:: 23rd March 1990
Horoscope Sign:: Aries
Chinese Zodiac:: Horse
Email:: lone_redwolf76@hotmail.com
Location:: BSB / KL
School:: Chung Hwa- SRS Datuk Simon Fung- Maktab Nasional- St.George's School- LKW
Hometown:: Kota Kinabalu?
Places I'd like to visit:: I'd love to go around the world if I have the chance.
Loves:: #1 MinMin!, Friends, Food, Drawing, Anime, Reading, Sleeping, Sarcasm, Chatting, Music, Writing, etc..
Fav. Colors:: Silver, Red, Grey, Black, Blue

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Friday, November 28, 2008

Bwoh. Bwah. Blekz.

It feels like I'm the only one trying to make things work sometimes, but that's a selfish thought. And hello again dear readers. I've been back in Brunei since the 21st, a surprise to most of the people here because I told them I was coming back on 25th. Wanted to see the shocked faces on some people. I managed to pull a ninja on a few people, most notably Min, who was waiting at my house the day I arrived. Great to see all the familiar faces again. I know I know, I don't sound all that hyped. (Barney says: Where's that HYPE!!!? I CAN'T FEEL IT!!!???//HIMYM Reference.)

Weather is slightly gloomy at the moment. I think. Or it could just be me. I really shouldn't be ranting now that I haven't got any assignments to do, but I really really am depressed about other things. I'm having a slight headache right now, don't know where that came from, but I wish it would be better soon.

Played badminton today. I think I need to push myself somemore. Plan to lose my weight and get fit before I go back for the next semester. If God allows it, maybe let me grow some height and then somehow someone can add that extra 5% into the 45%? Lol. Inside joke. Really busting my own self up over here, being in the same country and shit but not really able to do much. I curse my inability to drive. Hell, I'm a car idiot..God knows when I'll be able to drive. I'd have a nice steady job if I didn't come back..but if I didn't come back I'd be depressed as hell over in KL. Hmm, those who just finished their exams, good luck when you pick your results up.


it's 10:56 PM now

Monday, November 17, 2008

Recommendations?

In my to-watch/watching or to read/reading list:

Anime:

1) Nodame Cantabille Season 2
2) Toradora
3) Gundam 00 Season 2
4) To Aru Majutsu no Index
5) Kannagi
6) Ga Rei Zero
7) Inazuma Eleven

Dramas:
1) 1 Litre of Tears
2) Koizora
3) Ryuusei no Kizuna
4) How I Met Your Mother Season 4
5) Heroes Season 3
6) Chuck Season 2
7) Gossip Girl Season 2

Manga:
1) Area no Kishi
2) History's Strongest Disciple Kenichi
3) Eyeshield 21
4) Naruto
5) Bleach
6) Psyren
7) Nurarihyon no Mago
8) Katekyoshi Hitman Reborn
9) Prince of Tennis
10) Mahou Sensei Negima
11) One Piece

Games on my NDS to play:
1) Inazuma Eleven
2) Pokemon Ranger 2
3) Jump Ultimate Stars
4) YuGiOh WC 2008
5) Avalon Code

Yes I know thats a long list, and I'm probably a nerd/geek. I haven't really started on some. Just trying to list some of it out. You should check if out if you think you've got similar range of interests with me. =O


it's 11:00 PM now

Random Desperado

Time's a tickin', it's a wastin' and going down the drain,
as you walk, and you talk, but do nothing about your life.

When life is shit and isn't funny anymore, because people moved on to bigger things and nobody's gonna listen to you, whatcha gonna do?

You think its fine, you think things will be fine, you think that when you think, everything is gonna work out? Because thinking brings you nowhere till you put whats in your noggin' in your actions.

When all your friends walked down different roads, and you're still stuck there messing around trying to prove your point to the world, you'll start that cycle all over again. Feel free to do the waltz alone.

It may be ironic for someone like me to be talking about this, but at least I'm not stuck going nowhere. At least I know what I want, what I can do if at any rate something doesn't work out right for me, and I have something else to cling onto.

Don't walk into a duel without thinking, without aiming. Life is fragile. Sometimes you never get what you really want, never go where you really intend to go. That's why you make best of what you have. And what you have, comes from your thoughts and actions. Thinking alone brings nothing. Great leaders think of world peace. But only the right people do something to make peace. Down to the final moments, even if you are fighting losing battles, you shouldn't hesitate. Because war is consisted of multiple battles, just because you lose on, doesn't mean you lose it all, not unless you forfeit. But of course, there are times where you need to struggle, and there are times you'd need to know when to give in....

And because all this is coming from a fool, you can choose to ignore it. The doctor can't always save himself. Antidotes are concocted from venoms, and vice versa. I'll take my own sweet time. This is not directed at anyone specific...just releasing some thoughts floating around in my big-ass head. Can't sleep anyhow. But gonna try again in a bit. Nights.


it's 4:19 AM now

Saturday, November 15, 2008

WTF?



Wtf series, #1 - #3. So wtf did I not do right? Wtf is your problem? And wtf did I do wrong? Lol. Enjoy. Not wallpapers. Maybe site banners? Or just experiments. Either way is fine.


it's 7:30 PM now

Requiem

Its 3.46am, 15th November, 2008. I'm not asleep yet. Obviously. I can't sleep. Or maybe I don't want to, who knows. I shudder at the thoughts of closing my eyes and seeing or thinking things I'd rather not. My body rapidly ages before my time, not a good thing of course. Every morning I wake up hoping that all of the things I've gone through would end up being one big farce. But then again, it goes on, like a cycle. The thoughts, the process, the end result. Oh how I've changed. There's no helping a fool who refuses to listen to reason, so I only have myself to blame. Of course I shouldn't be bringing this up every time, but there is always a split second where I slip and want to succumb to my inner darker self, to be more cynical, to ravage the lives of those who trampled over mine; then in the end I can never leap over that last ledge. Is the grass greener on the other side? I don't know. Day turns to night, there are things that are inevitable. Ah, and it rains. Lol, urging me to sleep? Sometimes I feel like I'm that one idiot in the theater still waiting for that one big plot twist to happen when there's not one to expect. Will I experience that? A big turnover in my life? Just like two years ago? Probably. I just don't know when. Retarded much? Perhaps my sanity is wavering. I'm not even behaving my age. But that's besides the point. Am I asking for too much? Am I that much of a bastard that I can't get a moment of peace? Will I only be offered peace in my requiem? Good night, gonna try knock myself out to sleep.


it's 3:40 AM now

Friday, November 14, 2008

Bittersweet

The curtain to another semester is coming to a close, in another month or so, the year is coming to an end. What have I achieved? I don't know. The one thing I really need in my life, haven't gotten any closer to it from where I originally started. But surely, I still have a long way to go. Internal and external battles occur every now and then. It officially ends once the 'war' is over. When is that? Take a good guess.

Hahah. Just finished a 3 hour round of drinking games. I'm not drunk, obviously or I wouldn't be here. I didn't consume a single drop of alcohol. =O But I did vomit. More on that on dvtx when I have the time to update. With hilarious pictures (I think). Ang, Teck and Sean...not making much sense with their words. Nor with their actions. But they're all knocked out and sleeping. Oh wait, Ang just woke up to pee, heh.

Well, whatever. Have submission tomorrow. Or later. If my body permits it, I will go out with Ang much later and head downtown. Maybe get my 1TB? Heh, hope my loot doesn't run out before I go back. Anyways, haven't been feeling in the clouds the past few days. Been stuck in my own version of six feet under for quite a while. Nostalgia kicks in, painful bittersweet memories come flooding like Tsunami waves. Going off to nap for a while, gonna wake up to do some assignment later. Ciaos.


it's 1:24 AM now

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Maybe I'm fine, maybe I'm not.

So which is it? I don't know. It's nearing the end of the semester, well, actually, a week or so till the end of the semester. I've got a presentation on the day of my flight, which is screwed. I'm hoping I can pull that over earlier or present fast and rush to the airport. I've been sick a few times, and right now I'm up doing some finishing touches on a few assignments. My neck hurts, I wasn't able to nap properly. So let's see..what else? I don't know. Something is on my mind, and eventhough I'd rather let it out than bottle it in, but its almost pointless. Teck is arriving tomorrow. That's great, some tension relief, I hope.

Lately I've been feeling these chills and some slight uneasiness that I can't explain. Perhaps it may just be the weather, or it could just very well be me. I hate overthinking. I don't mind thinking ahead, but I hate when I overthink. And I hate when I overthink-ahead into some shit-crap-ass situation which I'd rather not imagine inside my head well because imagining some random hellish nightmare thingamajigger is something I do not need right now.

I'm thinking of getting my own cat the next semester. But I have to see how that goes. Well, completely random, but there's someone I don't like a lot right now. It's something almost close to hate..but I'm trying to let it slide past me. Of course, its not easy...but I'm trying. Jealousy and rage welling up, that's never good, right? Heh..good night. Back to work for me.


it's 2:31 AM now

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Love is..?

Love is all around us,
It is more than a simple 4 letter word.
Much much more, to the point where some misunderstand.
Love exists in all forms, and is defined differently depending on individuals.
Love ascends time, races, language, religion.
Love may have given birth to music, and arts.
Love is more than hugs and kisses,
Love lasts more than one moment,
Love is patient, and love is enduring.
Our parents love us, our siblings love us, our friends love us.
Sometimes some of us love ourselves a little well too much.
Love is imperfect, unpredictable and unimaginable.
Sometimes love is blind faith. *ahem*
It cannot be defined and understood by one person alone.
Love (nor God) is to blame when love doesn't work out.
Hurt and pain happen when people are careless.
Sometimes you really can't tell the difference between infatuation and love,
That is probably not until some time passes.
Break ups and divorces occur because there are people who refuse to work things out,
Even when its obvious they love each other.
It's the irksome small little things that ruin relationships.
Things that people don't want to overlook; pride, vanity, rage, lust.
When things work out, God gets no credit, when things fail, we blame the Heavens.
Love definitely exists, in various forms.
It is around, it keeps us going, pushes us to the limits.
It makes us human, it makes life easier to comprehend.
At the very last breath that you breathe,
You'll realize that people that love you are all around.
Love is like air, all around, but unseen, like the bonds of our relationships.
Love is beyond human reasoning,
Because of love, God gave his son up for humanity's salvation.
From love, there is pain, but love does not cause pain.
Because pain, is a whole different story out there...

Lol, open your eyes a little bit more to the world. But then again...Hahaha, ambiguous much this entry? Maybe this entry is a bit ironic, but then again, its just my overview on certain things.get And don't get me wrong..lol, I'm not trying to pick a fight. Comment-o?


it's 8:12 PM now

Monday, November 03, 2008

Eventful?

So after dinner on the 1st, we decided to go on a road trip. Well, sort of. Went with some of the guys. Sean was at church and didn't want to follow, so we tapao-ed something home for him from Murni (it's reopened) and then changed and headed out around 1am or so.

Hm, guess where we decided to go? Genting. Yup, lol, that's right.

So we went in Ah Hao's car, Ang obviously sitting in front, and then Gerald me and Jang stuck together at the back. I brought my DS along for entertainment purpose then I realized I didn't have it charged. Didn't bring my camera because it was low on battery, and Jang's camera was dead because he didn't have his memory card in. So meh, no pictures, maybe the next time we go up again.

So let's see, what did we do... (Note, my first time to Genting. Aight?)

We left home, headed to the petrol station, filled the car, wanted to get drinks but unfortunately the damned convenience store wasn't open for service. Furthermore, I was having some gastronomical problems lol, so I had to hold that all in. Bumpy ride, but we got there in about an hour an a half? So that was around 2am-ish. For your information, Genting is cold. Especially at night. And especially when it's foggy/misty. You ever walk through mist/fog? Oh, and my genius of a brotha' Ang Gu Gu...was wearing a t-shirt. Only. We were all wearing our hoodie jackets and whatnot. He thought his second layer of shirt would be enough (his skin and..err, fats. He doesn't read my blog anyways, so it's fine..I think? XD Sorry bro.). So he was freezing his nips off and stuff, we walked through the cold cold cold cold cold zones (about 10 degrees and below if my body temperature senses were accurate) and I was stupid enough to be challenged into putting my hand into some water and walk around. I did. o.o The hair on my fingers were so stiff I could pluck them out without feeling anything. Lol.

Anyways, Gerald was all about being a man so he decided not to fully wear his jacket. Until the cold got to his feet. Hmm, the irony. Well, we walked and walked until we got to Starbucks, and then Jang decided that he wanted Coffee Bean, so we walked one round around the mountain till we found Coffee Bean. (also for the exercise and fresh air) We saw a bunch of weird stuff.

1. People half naked. YES. HALF NAKED. Almost negative temperature, WTF?
2. People with really revealing clothes. Prosties, and those damned couples (lol, forgive my indiscretion, but a lot of shit was going through my head, I'll explain later)
3. A row of..the exact same Proton cars. Like..10-15 of them? Looks like they were a gang.
4. A place that looked like they'd keep snakes in it but it turned out to be some playground for kids. o.o
5. Did I mention the half naked people? Yeah I did. They were dancing while spraying what looked like beer on themselves. Christ, the water on the ground was almost solid ice, so I wonder how they must've felt. Lol.
6. This dude carrying his girlfriend to various spots so she can vomit. Romantic much? Looks like she took one too many a pint. Dude's probably gonna nail her if he has the chance to...but he doesn't seem like the type. Or I could be wrong.

Anyways, after a while we found our way to Coffee Bean. Cold sweat and all. So everyone was not smart enough to order hot drinks. We all ended up ordering the ice blended stuff along with cake and stuff. At least I had some hot pie. =X Anyways, we sat outside, avoiding the inside because there was this couple that looked like they were about to break up, and the girl trying really hard to seduce the guy with her extra revealing clothes and super short skirt, but the guy looked like he ain't budging much. Or is he? *raises brows*

Outside, after a while, it started to get more freakin' colder. And it rained. We were in denial for a while. "It could be aircond water." or "The roof spewed its own water." Until the wind changed direction and we got spat at by God's almighty rainwater. Well, we weren't stupid enough to not take the hint so we moved our charade inside. The couple was still there and the girl seemed to be leaning lower and lower than before =O The guy seemed freaked out though. A bunch of shady people came in shortly after, looked like they just hit the casinos. After sitting down there talking crap and stuff, we decided to go for another walk. So we walked around the interior this time, for Ang's sake. Weird interior. There was this one part outside StarBucks, near the toilet, the architecture looked very Greek or Roman, but there was this Indian Goddess statue thing there that didn't go well with it at all. o.o

There was this one part we were outside Safari (club) and this China chick walked out, and a bunch of Indian guys whistled at her. Well, it gets complicated, because we were directly behind her and I was asking Ah Hao where the hell we were going and she thought I was asking her LOL. Then she started asking us 'Yao Siu Shi Mar?', 'Want to relax/rest?' Hahah. So you know what her nocturnal occupation is. We took a de'tour and went the other way and walked all the way back to the carpark after that. It was around 5-ish then? We were supposed to wait for the sun to rise to watch it together but then....we didn't know which direction it was gonna rise from hahahaha. And WTF. Remember the fog/mist? It cleared by the time we go back to the carpark. There was this GINORMOUS building right behind us that we didn't notice because the fog was too thick then! Lol, so we ended up hibernating in the car and then decided not to watch the sunrise anyways.

Drove back downhill..and damned Gerald let me have the middle seat. So uncomfortable that my neck was strained when we got back to Prima (where we live). Sun was rising then when we got home. I still had my gastric when we reached, so I ended up going to the toilet 4-5 times until the time I couldn't sleep anymore. I was basically dehydrated the time I woke up the next day. (Or the same day actually)

Anyways..spent the whole day in bed because I had flu and gastric. So keep running back and forth to and from the toilet to my bed, and I finished reading a book..Airman by Eoin Colfer. Lol, I amaze myself. =O It's a good book. I had no appetite throughout the day...sneezed and coughed all the way. Still a bit unwell now anyways, but that's not the point.

All the time up there..since it was pretty romantic at some point, I kept thinking how nice it was to have someone there. Well, you know who. I won't say. Hahaha. Someone to hold? Lol. *Larrie's hand slap me all the way from Brunei* Hahahaha. Okay, that's all for now. The next time we go up there again (when Teck comes! WHEE!)


it's 5:43 PM now

Sunday, November 02, 2008

Risk

Let's risk it. Putting my foolishness and feelings on the line. Because it runs in the family anyhow. Let's see where this leads. Smite me, bite me..whatever. I'll stop when I'm tired of it, but if I'm not..why not keep fighting? Nights. Going home soon. =)


it's 4:56 PM now

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Happy Birthday

YO~

Happy Birthday Ser Chang Min. Lol, okay, not used to saying your whole name. Anyways, may you be abundant in both health and wealth for the years to come. Take care, good luck for your exams and your O's next year (although this is a bit early) and you know where to find me if you need anything. =X


it's 1:01 AM now