Hey there, yeah, here goes nothing.

I was born in Tawau General Hospital on the 23rd of March, 1990 around 8 in the morning weighing a healthy(or not) 3.986kg. Named Kevin Tan Tai Tee by both my parents, I guess my dad thought it'd be funny because his name is Alvin. No idea what the Tan Tai Tee meant, but it seemed to have something to do with the card game Cho Dai Dee. I was baptized in the Holy Trinity Church of Tawau branch by Father Aloysius Tung on the 10th of May 1990 and my godfather then was Gerald(or Jerad) Jilord Emol (Rest in Peace). Amazing how I know all this, eh? Regarding my procreation, I really have no clue about that.

Well, that's the gist of my birth I guess. I think before I hit the 1 year old mark, my mom and dad took me to Brunei where my dad was starting to work already. I was basically raised alternately in Tawau and Brunei, but I mainly went to school in Brunei, although I recall going to school briefly in Tawau, wearing some yellow kind of school uniform. I could be wrong though, you know, er dreaming a life I never lived. In Brunei I went to school in Chung Hwa, skipping kindy 1 because my brain was bigger than the other kids' then. XD *hint sarcasm*

Anyways, I don't remember my kindy 2 and 3 classes or classmates much cept' another kid who shared the same name as me and has real big lips and a large mole on his face. Well, anyways as a kid I was bright, I suppose. Having to go through a lot of 'lessons' at home. I think my parents were a little hard to please back then. When I got anything less than a 100% for tests I'd get scolded often. For instance if I got 98%, my dad would tell me 'Where did the 2% go? I don't care if you're better than most the kids because there are others better than you!'

Yeah, and my mom would frequently take me to Soon Lee(Yaohan back then) to go meet my mom's friend Esther, who if I'm not mistaken works in the chocolate and candy zone. I'd tick my mom off sometimes, asking her to buy me the Kinder Bueno Chocolate eggs that had toys in them.

I think I was really adorable back then. I suppose. I even asked my dad what race we were and when he said 'Chinese' I wasn't all happy and argued, saying we were 'English' because we spoke it at home and because my mom doesn't speak much Chinese at all. I insisted that I was at least half white, but of course now I know I'm not. I'm Sino-Kadazan by the way.

Then as time passed I was already in Primary 1. I remember my class being near the canteen then. Back then I remember going back to Melaka for CNY and being all amazed by my older cousins' skills in drawing. I also remember then that the things I liked a lot included Sonic the Hedgehog and Dragon Ball. After going back to Brunei I got my dad to buy me the comic books from the nearest Best Eastern bookstore, in Plaza Athirah and started to copy the drawing style. I started taking computer lessons that very year. I remember even discussing how Windows worked with one of the teachers then.

Some side memories from this time include going to S'pore from Melaka via train with my dad's brother, watching TV at my house in Taman Kinabutan, Tawau, fighting with a very close friend I had then over marbles, eating crabs at the neighbour's place, fishing with my grandfather at the back of my house, visiting my grandfather's house and watching my aunt kill a snake with a fork, watching the Candyman and Freddy Krueger and not being able to sleep at all. Fond memories, and notice how most of them were in Sabah. In Brunei, I had little to no friends at all. Possibly because I was such a brat back then, throwing tantrums and being spoiled.

Primary 2, I remember being put in class 2C, and that classroom was near the teacher's office. Nothing much in school except the usual stuff I guess. I had a filipino as my class teacher then, taught science to our class. I started following my dad to his badminton games then, every Tuesday, Thursday and sometimes Saturday. Last time he'd play in the Chung Hwa multi-purpose hall. If I'm right, around then my sister was already born. I was a real nice big brother then, all loving and not minding that my parents' attention had shifted to my now annoying sister, Gloria. My dad started to send me away to find out what I was really good at then. He sent me to learn the Piano, sent me to Art Class, and at one point Mental Arimethic. Ah and also Tang Soo Doo, the only form of martial arts I've ever picked up.

I remember then that my mom had to go back to Tawau for some reason and also because she was pregnant with my brother, Maxwell. She took Gloria with her. She was really young then.

Anyways, onto my Primary 3 life. I was either in class 3I or 3H, again near the canteen. I remember making friends with one of the kids from the morning class, named Ivan. He was in Tang Soo Doo as well, a couple of ranks higher than me then. He studies in the classroom that I use in the afternoon. Anyways, I was made class monitor then. Lots of crappy responsibilities, I assure you and at many times being bullied for being the goody-two-shoes of the class. Did I mention that I already knew Ang, Seng and Kenny then? Yeah. I also remember some dude named Soon Ket that stabbed a knife into my left arm. And then there was a kid that put staples into my drinking water, earning me a place under the X-Ray machine a couple of hours later. Ah, so much childhood fun. Oh and I had my first crush here. I remember her name, Koh Xin Tian, although I never saw much of her again after that because I was taken to KK after I finished my Primary 3 there.

On my report card (Number 2 in class XD, Number 1 was some Wong girl), I wrote that I wanted to be in the fire rescue brigade. Heh, guess I was all gutsy and about helping the world back then. (Thanks to a certain show called Power Rangers) Also started playing badminton properly because my dad started training me. Took me to the new place that he plays at in Centerpoint, 7th floor. I'd always annoy him to take me to the McDs there to get a Happy Meal (just so I could get them toys) before we start playing. Oh boy, I had looads of toys. You can visit my house in Brunei and open up the old drawers if you wanna see how much. Well, my dad trained me like a Spartan both in mind and body then, making sure I scored high and making sure I was healthy. Mom wasn't around see, so yeah, I guess he took on both roles for once. There was once where I was dizzy (didn't eat a proper breakfast) and tumbled down the stairs of my apartment and then went to school and fell down another set of stairs again and had to go home. Dad was really nice then. (not that he isn't now)

Oh right, I should also mention that I came to knew Jerome then already. We were in Tang Soo Doo together, and he was studying in SGS already then.

Loads of things happened that year. I remember getting into a fight with my grandfather (mom's side) in Tawau because he wanted to watch some malay Cop TV show and I wanted to watch Legend of the Condor Heroes. (7pm show, clashes, I blame the stupid TV Scheduling). After that things weren't so tight with my ol' grandad. Course I regret it a lot, I never got to apologize to him, now that he's gone.

Anyways, from Primary 4 to Form 1 I spent in KK. Really didn't miss Brunei much. For obvious reasons I guess. I started to drop my Chinese speaking habits and really started to sharpen my English and Malay a lot. Mom was under a lot of pressure then, for reasons I wish not to state and she'd scold me every now and then because I was a bad boy and then I'd argue back and then she'd chase me around the house while 'sparring' with me. Hahah, and I got my first own computer there too. The kids all around had PSones and PS2s and what do I do? I started to learn some ROM-hacking skills. Of course nobody my age then would understand what I was doing at all. In primary 5 I could read hexadecimals to a certain extent. My aunt from Ranau moved to KK and got a house a couple blocks away from my house there. Things sort of got easier after that for me and my family. I had a friend, my cousin Dierdre. We were all imaginative and anti-girls then. Going to the park nearby, getting chased by dogs...Ah, fun. Oh right, it was around here I developed my dog-o-phobia.

Let me explain. I had a puppy friend then, I named her Rainy (yes, coincidence) and we'd play every morning before I'd go to class. (Primary 4, just moved to KK by the way) One day there was an order for stray dogs to be 'exterminated' from the neighbourhood and so I never saw the poor dog again. I chose to do something stupid like look for her near the shoplots and then whoah, a bunch of stray dogs (note that its plural, not singular) came up to me and started to look at me like I was ham or something. Chased me and I was never the same again. Traumatized, I guess?

I made a lot of friends who were pretty rich in KK. Dato's son and all that kind of people. Not really my type actually, but it's better than having no friends at all. Couple of funny events happened too. A lot to list down actually, but just to name one...I think most of you know how I ended up learning how to cook right? Yeah, I was eager to join the SCIENCE club, but they told me it was full so I looked for other clubs then I saw the keyword SCIENCE in the HOME SCIENCE AND ECONOMICS class and I signed up. (dragging along a couple of buddies) Only to find the classroom full of girls. Of course my hormones didn't mind that but seriously, my pride took a fall then. I was like 'Eugh, gonna learn to do girl stuff now are we?' but I never regretted it. Thanks to that I'm not a complete kitchen retard. I know that salt is salty and not bittersweet.

Around now I started to develop more of my drawing skills. Some of my peers thought I was really good, but not everyone agreed of course. Being called the class geek never really helped much. Why? Because I liked things most other people don't. I watch Angel every Saturday night at 10pm on TV2 and kids my age would rather be hitting their reset button each time they died escaping from whatever. I'd pay close attention to Digimon and Pokemon (still do) while they would talk about wrestling. I was good in my studies but not excellent, and I'd never try out for any sporting events. I was almost always picked for public speaking contests (Malay and English) for my competence in the languages. I don't listen to Limp Bizkit but I'd rather listen to Westlife. So basically I was almost always the black sheep in my class. The pattern of my mindset is not the same with anyone I knew back then.

Relationship with both my parents became strained back then. I would cry and throw tantrums and pick fights whenever I could. I became a teenager. So filled with teen angst. I'd punch walls, kick things over, stay up in my room and keep thinking until there's a couple hours best till going to school. (See, my habit carried over until now)

I secretly had a girlfriend then, but I think I'll skip that chapter of my life. Form 1 is when my grades started to de-grade and I started to pick up Anime. Wonderful thing. Dad wants to drag my ass back to Brunei, I refused flatly and challenged him that I would do well and won't go back. See, Dad didn't have ASTRO in Brunei and I didn't have my own computer there. Also didn't want to lose my friends because I have to move AGAIN. But of course, no matter how hard I tried, I HAD to go back to Brunei because it was inevitable. It was all planned all along. Financial problems, bla bla bla. My only nightmare then was that I was gonna be put into CHMS with the Chinese speaking people, and thank God I wasn't. My mom didn't come to Brunei until I was in Form3. Oh right, I had my first suicidal thought before going to Brunei. Didn't work out well.

Oh, and I received my first Holy Communion in primary 5, at Sacred Heart church. I wore a bowtie, not pretty.

And seriously, SGS (St. George's) wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, there was that tall bald man that was there when I registered for school and then there was that huge church outside. I wasn't a big fan of churches. I felt that God wasn't present in my life at all. Sure I went through Communion, big deal, big whoop, but everything I wanted, I never got. Everyone's got cellphones, everyone's families are not dealing with stuff (at least what I thought then), nobody moved around as much as I did, nobody was called a geek more often that I was (again I was wrong here) and etcetera amount of problems I thought I had.

Okay, first day of school? Sat down. People stared. First person to walk past me, Chris. Second person, came bursting through the door. Larrie. He started talking about masturbation. Wonderful really. Big boy Ronald came in after that, talked with Larrie. Hokkien so I don't get much. Class started, and first person I made friends with was Zaheen, dude from . Ms.Clements was really scary, seriously. Eventually there was Teo Zhen Yi, and then Muhammad from Egypt. Buncha people more geekier than I was. I thought they were my friends though. But when something happened, I was suddenly dissed off just like that after something happened. Ah by the way, Manzy, I'm not sure if you remember but on the first few days of school I got you in trouble. XD The classmates were passing a note around class and it ended up on my desk, a couple of desks behind Zy's then and I added an insult for the teacher teaching us (Ms. Adrenne I think) and then continued to pass it on and when you were reading it Ms. Adrenne saw it and er, assumed it was you who wrote it.

Eventually, 2nd suicidal event started. (also catalyzed by er, having a bad crush on someone then and etc etc..teen hormones, I won't talk about it for privacy purposes.) I stopped consuming food. I became pale. Then I got my first gastric attack, and during first period math class, Ms. Clements. Dad came rushing and took me to the doctor. And seriously, if I could, I'd have knocked the doctor out. Who the hell diagnoses gastric as cancer by mistake?!

Terminator 3 was out then. I was called T5. Wanna know why? Because I was still suicidal and I stopped talking to people. I stopped smiling, stopped laughing. If I think something was funny, I bite my tongue. I hated the world. Like Manzy said, it was my dramatic phase. There were only 5 people I thought were different from others. First two, Manzy and Abigail, said hi to me everyday. Three, Azim, checked on me to see if I was alright. (taught me the wonders of the British accent too) Four, Teo Zhen Yi, challenging me everyday to stand up again and to make sure I don't fail my Form2. Lastly, Seng who came to humour me everyday. Well, my dad wasn't really around then and there were other instances where I thought I was better off not living when the news of my grandfather's death impacted me. Ironic, I think I started to change a little after that. I was having my examinations when he passed away, so I didn't get to attend his funeral. I never got to visit his grave either, until now.

I did whatever I could for my studies then. There is a big difference in the education system of Malaysia and Brunei. Especially for maths. My English and Malay remained the better of my subjects, despite the creepy Malay teacher and the English teacher being swapped so many times. Most of the stuff that I learnt in Form1 were Malay, like say for instance we call fractions as pecahan and square root of something is punca kuasa sesuatu or summat. Just big changes, a lot to handle in one instance. Those who keep a close eye on me during Form2 will notice that I was pretty much a jackass in the sense that I nearly transcended the highest level of melodramatism.

Of course, all bad things will come to pass. Good things will come along eventually. And I learnt that in Form3. Grew closer to the DragonZ to be, that meant Ang, Seng, Teck, Pamela, Kenny, Yung, Jerome, Jo, Michelle, Larrie and Manzy. Of course there was the Jamz (now Jammz) girls too.

I believe that a lot of fun memories were carved here. And before I forget I had another secret girlfriend in Form1 (partially the reason of the degrading of my grades then) and I had one more during Form3. I should leave out the mucho details, just in case. I had some sort of girl phobia then, for reasons obvious to those who already know. Ah, and my mom came back to Brunei with the rest of the crew (my three siblings) and I thought life finally dropped back into some balance.

I think I'll start with the key bad events before moving to the highlighted stuff.

There was one time where I got into a fight with my dad, because I was sort of an online addict then. The cyberspace being the only place I can escape to, where I have lots to say, where I have friends and where I was safe from discrimination. My dad just cut off all my ties to the cyberworld when he changed the brunet password. I just freaked. I called him, scolded him on the phone, and started trashing the house. I sweared, told my mom to get into the room as I broke stuff. I punched the walls in my house and the walls aren't exactly hard so I left some dent there. I broke my bed, my wardrobes, hole in the door as I punched it hard. Pay a visit if you can. After trashing around like that I went to sleep, crying. (Yes, cried.) Around midnight my dad came home from his badminton thing and dragged me out of bed, and almost out the door but what with after the staring and all he let me go and told me to get out first thing in the morning and some other stuff. And so I did, but then things eventually got fixed and I got a new computer plus started using the wifi nearby.

I think that was the only bad event then? Haha, I'm not sure.

Well, good things.

I got to know Manzy a bit better. I didn't even know she was Manzy then. I thought everyone just called her Marianne. Then I found out one of the reasons why was because there were 3 Mariannes in school. I was feeling all chipper on Valentine's Day that year (eventhough I was single, alone and brooding partially) and started wishing everyone on my contact list then Happy Valentine's Day and whatnot, and only some of them actually replied. One of them being Manzy of course. Started to chat, build a friendship that we probably didn't expect that would last till now. Started to call me didi some time after and then broke my some sort of phobia for girls (but my phobia for dogs remained) and introduced me to the other people in class properly.

Then through Manzy I knew Jess and Abugali (Abigail). Like Manzy said, we'd skip extra class and just skip right through the lawns of SAS and then to Yayasan. Always KFC, and sometimes if we have any extra dollars we'd go for Famous Amos. Manzy likes them big cookies, if I remembered right. There was once I nearly got hit by a car and one of the three girls pulled me back, still thankful for that. (I believe it was Abigail who pulled? Do correct me.)

I was part of the crew called Chinatown then, something Remo started because the one sole thing we all had in common was our Chinese lineage. I learned to play pool from Remo. Well, then he left after Form3. *takes long break*

I'm gonna publish this and continue when I can. =O