Really, up till now, I still ask myself this question at times, just to remind myself of certain things. What is your purpose in life? Where are your priorities? To achieve spiritual awareness, to live with friends, to live with your true love, to live with your family, to gain fame and fortune, or just to live your best, with everything in proper balance?

I believe sometimes your priorities must change, according to situations. It's like your needs and wants. You must know the difference, of what you need, and what you want. Definately, if you are poor, you won't save all your money, and then pool it just to buy say..a Mp3 Player? It is something to enjoy, but why not use it for your family, your future? Can't settle with a radio player?

Again, I must say it depends entirely on how the human brain reacts to certain things. Jealousy, envy, greed, or that 'must have no matter what' feeling. Know the ups and downs, risks involved before jumping into something, before buying something. Not pinpointing, but indeed, most of us, including myself, we ignore this fact at times. Then we look back, and say 'Oh, I shouldn't have bought this, could've used it right now when I needed it the most!'

Worst case scenario possible, let's say, you saved about $10, 000, after working for a long time. You decide to buy a car, because you see one of your friends having one. Suppposedly, because you have been obsessed with buying a car, you do not realize your father is ill with cancer, and needs to be operated. When the time comes, you'll regret, maybe. Some things are out of your hands, and of course, its not likely you'll know the future. Again, human errors hm?

Time is so short, time moves so fast. What to do with it? Spend it with friends? Your spouse? Your family? Working your ass off just to get yourself something you want? Really, what to do? Learn something? Haha, even I don't know for sure. But I can say, as for now, I do have a better balance of it, since I am very darn free from studies at the moment. I go to work in the morning, spend time resting, or going out with friends, or working out in the afternoon. I come home in the evening, or at night, depending on what I do in the evening, and try to spend time with Min, my family, or doing something worthwhile, like reading on extra stuff. Not one to show off, but yeah..I am not sure if it is balanced out or not. But I feel comfortable with it, I am not leaving anything out, am I? I do take care of my eating, if I can, but I am also trying to lose weight.

Oh, that reminds me. Opportunity cost, know what it means? It means the cost of losing one thing over another. You gain some, you lose some. You cannot get both things that you want sometimes. Its either one. You can try to balance out, but really. Look beyond the box, think outside the box. You may think you're making the right choices, doing the right thing, but are you really?

Example, I'll be using me. I will be leaving next year, so that means I have very short time left here. I cannot guarantee that I will see everyone in the near future, which I have no control of. So, what do I do? Who should I spend time with more? Who should spend time with me? Hahaha, of course, you already know. If you don't, and want to ask me, go ahead.

Life really sucks at some points, but you gotta live with the shit. Some people don't know, don't realize. I'm not sure I do either. But, yeah, the way you see the world, creates the world that you see. See beyond, put yourself in other's shoes, think carefully, make the better choices, not necessarily the CORRECT choice. Not only for YOURSELF. Don't waste your life away..(Au Contraire, Kevin) =P Well, I may sound like a hypocrite, after what happened to me, but yeah.

Just randomly ranting here. So don't mind me. All I know is, my priorities in order are : Min/Family, Friends, Future/Money, God, Self. Not the best, but I feel more comfortable with it this way. Although, the same may not apply to Min. I don't have much time to spend with her, because I have to go away soon and all. (Not so soon, but nyeh, I don't wanna leave...) On the other hand, I have no real idols, I'm not a rabid fanguy for any hot girls, actors, etc. Plus...no offense, but comparing real people you know with actors, and criticising them just because they don't have the looks and qualities of your idols is the worst thing to do ever. (Yes, I'm complaining...) God made me this way, and even if I tried hard to change, the result is still up to the Lord. He moulds us, and makes us the way we are. Not saying its wrong to have idols, but really, comparing them with your spouse, or friends, is the WORST thing to do. (In my case, I can tahan a bit lar, but too much also cannot...Ahaha, I just don't like people mentioning it too much all the time) It gets annoying. But in some special cases, I just put up with it. Idolizing is okay, but obssessing over is not. Once more, I hope I'm not offending anyone. And it's just ranting, so I may not be right either. Go figure. I'm not Superman.

Well, thats basically all for now. I'm not stressed, just hmm, having lots in my mind that I want to let out and I have nobody to let it out to basically. I do not want to be 'angry' or 'sad' or 'jealous' because apparently, those feelings don't belong to me anymore. I've lost the rights to feel that. All I can do is be happy, or pretend to be happy, or be quiet. Lol, good night folks. Take care, and once more, harap maaf for this entry. Bored to high heavens. 12.42am now, tomorrow still have to go school. Lol. >_>" Min, eventhough you're not reading this...haha, Love you, and Miss you. Be good, take care and see see first, if I'll go look for you. *public mwakz and hugz* Take care then dear. *pengsan tidur*

PS: Do not misunderstand. I am not going insane. I'm just rambling. May relate to certain ppl I know, but still, my apologies. Don't start flaming can already.

it's 12:20 AM now