One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve
CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, let me go
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through
CHORUS
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
And you love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go, let me go
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows
You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know who I am
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't
You love me but you don't
(you don't know)
You love me but you don't know me
Sunday, June 20, 2010
I think a blog, fair to say, my -own- blog, is the perfect place to let my emotions run loose at this hour when I face the screen and have nobody to talk to.
First of all, I do not think myself above the average person. I prefer to see myself as a 'Jack of All Trades' and with that comes the next half of that phrase 'Yet Master of None'. I am not perfect.
Let that sentence maintain cryptic to some of you. I don't plan on exposing my bare anger to the whole world tonight. It is after all, father's day.
I'd like to think I am just and patient, with almost everyone around me. Some of you pull my heartstrings easier than others, and yet some of you know how to tick me off like a package of compound explosives. When you are facing troubles, I would do what I can to offer my help, assistance or whatever it may be that you need. However sometimes when I am facing something, it is so easy for you to have your backs turned. That is simply amazing and it just puts a cynical smile on my face.
I can swear I have gone beyond the limit this semester. The reservoir of my patience has been run dry and thin. The first time I've felt that I am going insane. The first time I felt that hiding behind the mask and bottling everything up is no longer an option. Yet I do this anyway. I'm not trying to make myself some Saint or Martyr, and I know the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.
I am edging towards being a lest trustful person, cold, bitter and resentful. Yet some of you say this cold demeanor not suitable of my nature. So tell me, what am I supposed to do? Let some of you take advantage of me while you can?
If I could get drunk and drown my sorrows in alcohol like most of you can, I might certainly be doing that right now. I've never felt so bloodthirsty in my life before. So angry and so full of bitterness that I want to hurt someone so badly. I thought I lost all the temper I had to lose many years ago. Looks like I'm wrong. I've never laid a hand, said a word, to anybody, for 6 long years. I'm afraid if I am pushed any further than I can go, ignored, dismissed or neglected anymore, I will snap, and I won't hold anything back anymore.
I'm starting to lose faith in myself that I feel like I'm sinking back into darkness.
I will continue with my masquerade. I hope things change. I really do hope so. For my sake, and for yours.
First of all, I do not think myself above the average person. I prefer to see myself as a 'Jack of All Trades' and with that comes the next half of that phrase 'Yet Master of None'. I am not perfect.
Let that sentence maintain cryptic to some of you. I don't plan on exposing my bare anger to the whole world tonight. It is after all, father's day.
I'd like to think I am just and patient, with almost everyone around me. Some of you pull my heartstrings easier than others, and yet some of you know how to tick me off like a package of compound explosives. When you are facing troubles, I would do what I can to offer my help, assistance or whatever it may be that you need. However sometimes when I am facing something, it is so easy for you to have your backs turned. That is simply amazing and it just puts a cynical smile on my face.
I can swear I have gone beyond the limit this semester. The reservoir of my patience has been run dry and thin. The first time I've felt that I am going insane. The first time I felt that hiding behind the mask and bottling everything up is no longer an option. Yet I do this anyway. I'm not trying to make myself some Saint or Martyr, and I know the weight of the world is not on my shoulders.
I am edging towards being a lest trustful person, cold, bitter and resentful. Yet some of you say this cold demeanor not suitable of my nature. So tell me, what am I supposed to do? Let some of you take advantage of me while you can?
If I could get drunk and drown my sorrows in alcohol like most of you can, I might certainly be doing that right now. I've never felt so bloodthirsty in my life before. So angry and so full of bitterness that I want to hurt someone so badly. I thought I lost all the temper I had to lose many years ago. Looks like I'm wrong. I've never laid a hand, said a word, to anybody, for 6 long years. I'm afraid if I am pushed any further than I can go, ignored, dismissed or neglected anymore, I will snap, and I won't hold anything back anymore.
I'm starting to lose faith in myself that I feel like I'm sinking back into darkness.
I will continue with my masquerade. I hope things change. I really do hope so. For my sake, and for yours.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Random
Not too bad. Considering that my line is shared between 5 others. I bet if they go on holiday it would be much faster lol.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Tired
I prefer to believe in the goodness of people, to have faith that people can change or that some people mean you no harm.
Sometime ago I stopped trusting so easily.
I'm tired of throwing myself into people's arms and getting cut again.
Someone who wields a gun is not always a killer.
Someone who preaches is not always a saint.
People are not who they say they are. Behind their masks are their faces, and behind their skeletal figures come fabrications and fabrications of truth and deceit.
People are not to be trusted from that one moment when you're speaking to them. They are to be judged from all their past actions put together.
I am bitter, I am broken, and I am tired. I need to rest. I need to sleep.
At this moment, I do not want to be lectured or preached at. Just let me breathe the way I should and take the number of breaths I should at the right moments.
Sometime ago I stopped trusting so easily.
I'm tired of throwing myself into people's arms and getting cut again.
Someone who wields a gun is not always a killer.
Someone who preaches is not always a saint.
People are not who they say they are. Behind their masks are their faces, and behind their skeletal figures come fabrications and fabrications of truth and deceit.
People are not to be trusted from that one moment when you're speaking to them. They are to be judged from all their past actions put together.
I am bitter, I am broken, and I am tired. I need to rest. I need to sleep.
At this moment, I do not want to be lectured or preached at. Just let me breathe the way I should and take the number of breaths I should at the right moments.