My whole student life just came crashing down on me, and there's not a single pillar to support me where I stand. I have to complete what is usually done within 2 months in 3 weeks, which is nearly impossible. Even if it is, the quality will be bullshit, and I won't be satisfied with that. Even if I kill myself by not sleeping at all for 3 weeks, which is what I am already doing the past few weeks, it won't make much difference. I'll just be more cranky. I don't want to hear that bullshit that says that this is preparing us for the worst in the working world because no fucking way in hell are we in the working world right now. Right now I'm a student. A professional but then still a student. I am paying money to be educated properly for 2 months in how to complete my work as a professional, not to rush crap work in 3 weeks time. I think I've said more than necessary. I really am trying my best to make my stand here, to not quit halfway, but right now, that lack of support is really killing my confidence. Cheers to whoever is reading this, may your life be brighter than mine at the moment. I know there are far worst situations to be in, but put yourself in my shoes, measure my workload, the effort I've put in for this semester, the amount of fees I pay, how my parents will feel if I fail, the pressure my classmates are experiencing, then I dare you to say something witty about it. Seriously, I dare you. Right now, all I want to say is : screw you Curtin, for informing LimKokWing about the semester being cut short so late, and screw you LimKokWing for not even trying to fight for our student's rights. And screw anyone not directly in my circle but having influence over making my life miserable. You won't see this, but screw you anyways. Have a great life.
FUCK FUCK FUCK. I AM NOT IN THE MOOD TO LISTEN TO REASONING RIGHT NOW. SO FUCK THIS ALRIGHT?
It's never about me..so why should I matter at all?
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Rant
It's tiring trying to suit your groove to everyone's life. It's tiring how nobody appreciates you trying. It's tiring. It's just too tiring.
It's funny how others wish they met you earlier and the people you've already met don't give a crap about you.
It's weird how time flies by when you need to do a lot of things at once, but time goes slowly when you don't really need to do anything much at all.
It's really easy to say things to others when you're not in their shoes.
But in the end everything I say here will mean naught. Because words are forgotten easily. Words lose their meaning over time. Even words like : "I Love You." dissolve in marriages that are supposed to last a lifetime according to some.
Right now I wish I could ignore the world. Right now I wish I was with you. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else. I want you. But right now is not the time. Time to snap back into reality and get back to work.
I'm just a cold blooded jerk in the inside after all.
It's funny how others wish they met you earlier and the people you've already met don't give a crap about you.
It's weird how time flies by when you need to do a lot of things at once, but time goes slowly when you don't really need to do anything much at all.
It's really easy to say things to others when you're not in their shoes.
But in the end everything I say here will mean naught. Because words are forgotten easily. Words lose their meaning over time. Even words like : "I Love You." dissolve in marriages that are supposed to last a lifetime according to some.
Right now I wish I could ignore the world. Right now I wish I was with you. I don't want anyone else. I don't need anyone else. I want you. But right now is not the time. Time to snap back into reality and get back to work.
I'm just a cold blooded jerk in the inside after all.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
My Life So Far
If you were to ask me: How's life?, I won't be able to give you a straight answer. Between feeling stressing for assignments and maintaining a strict budget to make sure I have enough money to even DO my assignments and juggling my emotions to make sure I do not become an idiot to the ones I love, I'd say life is so-so.
I know, sounds like I'm dramatizing my life a lot. It's not all that bad all the time of course. But when it's bad, it's really BAD. Now, people tend to underestimate the life of a designer, or that of a student designer. Also, people tend to badmouth LimKokWing university, which I seriously don't mind because of the crappy administration here, but seriously, I bet my life that some of the dipshits that make light of my course won't survive 1 month here doing my assignments.
Well, that's just bad ranting. I've too many things on my mind right now. Let me just list a few of them down:
- At least 400-450 pages worth of Topic Analysis for the dreadful Design Management. Yes, it's something like Business Management, go figure.
- Negotiation Interview/Roleplay, yes, that means we need to film stuff. Reports come with this assignment.
- Focus Group and Facilitation Group reports
- FILMING for my major and minor in Multimedia. That's TWO films. I don't mind but it's costing shitloads of money. RM1k for cameraman service. How's that sound? Great? No? I bet you my dad isn't happy. For your info, why I don't have my own camera : Camera body :RM2k+, Lenses RM2k+.
- Flash website.
- Location issues for my first film. No idea for my 2nd film yet. Not even a treatment or concept.
- Loads of presentations to go.
- My lecturer's expectations for me to excel in 3D just shot up the roof. I'm currently modelling a full detail car inside-out.
That's more or less it for my assignment half. I won't go into detail my personal and emotional issues, cuz that just highlights how much of a jackass I am. I guess that's all for now. Needed some ranting space. Hardly anyone to talk to about these things. Cheers.
I know, sounds like I'm dramatizing my life a lot. It's not all that bad all the time of course. But when it's bad, it's really BAD. Now, people tend to underestimate the life of a designer, or that of a student designer. Also, people tend to badmouth LimKokWing university, which I seriously don't mind because of the crappy administration here, but seriously, I bet my life that some of the dipshits that make light of my course won't survive 1 month here doing my assignments.
Well, that's just bad ranting. I've too many things on my mind right now. Let me just list a few of them down:
- At least 400-450 pages worth of Topic Analysis for the dreadful Design Management. Yes, it's something like Business Management, go figure.
- Negotiation Interview/Roleplay, yes, that means we need to film stuff. Reports come with this assignment.
- Focus Group and Facilitation Group reports
- FILMING for my major and minor in Multimedia. That's TWO films. I don't mind but it's costing shitloads of money. RM1k for cameraman service. How's that sound? Great? No? I bet you my dad isn't happy. For your info, why I don't have my own camera : Camera body :RM2k+, Lenses RM2k+.
- Flash website.
- Location issues for my first film. No idea for my 2nd film yet. Not even a treatment or concept.
- Loads of presentations to go.
- My lecturer's expectations for me to excel in 3D just shot up the roof. I'm currently modelling a full detail car inside-out.
That's more or less it for my assignment half. I won't go into detail my personal and emotional issues, cuz that just highlights how much of a jackass I am. I guess that's all for now. Needed some ranting space. Hardly anyone to talk to about these things. Cheers.
