about me

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Name:: Kevin Tan, Vin, Tan, Kev, Kebin Boi, Shin, Kevie-kun, etc etc..
D.O.B:: 23rd March 1990
Horoscope Sign:: Aries
Chinese Zodiac:: Horse
Email:: lone_redwolf76@hotmail.com
Location:: BSB / KL
School:: Chung Hwa- SRS Datuk Simon Fung- Maktab Nasional- St.George's School- LKW
Hometown:: Kota Kinabalu?
Places I'd like to visit:: I'd love to go around the world if I have the chance.
Loves:: #1 MinMin!, Friends, Food, Drawing, Anime, Reading, Sleeping, Sarcasm, Chatting, Music, Writing, etc..
Fav. Colors:: Silver, Red, Grey, Black, Blue

tags


Free shoutbox @ ShoutMix

friends

12-Dz
Aaroink
Aby
Adele
Anthraxxxx
Burt
Beckham Edmund
Cousin Gary
DivineAngels
D-Sanctuary
Fir3f0x
Gretsen
Irene
Ivan's SketchyMinds
Jessica
Joshua
Joshua New
Justin
Kakashin
Krysta
Manzy
Xiang Yun
Miyano 1
Miyano 2
M.u.g.e.n_W.i.s.h.e.S
Pamela
RainMin
Anime OST
Anime Torrents
DS-Roms
Deviantart
Friendster
Facebook
Manga
Minitokyo
Pokemon Eggs

archives

January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
August 2010
September 2010
November 2010
December 2010
April 2011
March 2012

credits

Banner host Eminem Lyrics - When I'M Gone !milo@blogskins
Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Ranmbling/Rants

For the past three hours, I’ve been sitting on my bed reminiscing about my past, looking back, and putting together parts of my life. And then all of the sudden I start to question myself. What am I doing? Why am I here? What’s my life about? What’s it gonna be about? I know what I want now. I know well what I want to do for my future. I begin to question my moral values, my religious values. I wonder really, how far can I go? How long will I live? How much will I see? Time is ticking away, the sand flowing down the hourglass.

I know I’ll sound like a git talking about all these things, but I enjoy it. I enjoy dwelling, or brooding, whatever you call it. It’s me. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. Will I ever meet a nice girl? Am I gonna be a cop? Are my parents gonna live forever? Am I gonna be afraid of dogs forever? I ask a lot of questions, not to people, but to myself. And then I sit down, alone, and start thinking up multiple possibilities. I won’t lie and say that it’s a healthy thing. But then again, what the heck?

I’m not happy now, I’m gonna openly admit that. I don’t think I’ll ever be in the long run. I can make do with what I have now, comparing myself to people suffering far worst fates out there. At least I have a place to live, my parents are alive, I have a couple of cute annoying siblings, I have excellent friends, and I’m doing what I planned to do 5 years back. Downside? I’m a broken piece of equipment I suppose. Yes yes, I should really stop thinking and talking about her.

People have pains. Time heals. This and that, not like I’ve never heard any of those before. I guess along the way, things are gonna get better. Maybe I’ll travel the world someday and meet a nice, maybe better girl. I’m open for anything now. If a risk, an opportunity is standing right before me..I’m gonna go ahead and take my chances if I can. Why not? Hell, I’m not a Godly person. I’m not gonna suddenly wake up one day and ask God what should I be doing with my life. I mean, there is a higher power at work in our lives..I won’t deny that, but I’m not very dependent on Him, to be honest. I’m blessed that my life isn’t so effed up, maybe I’m lucky He looks out for me as much as he does others, and I’m thankful.

Might sound retarded but somehow I’m far more concerned about living my life now rather than worrying about my life after death. Yeah, there’s always that risk that I’m going to hell for being such a shitty bastard, then again there might be other possibilities. Taking unnecessary risks? Probably inherited more of my family’s genes than I thought I did. Doesn’t mean I’m not a believer, or that I’ll stop going to church though…probably sound like a hypocrite now, lol.

Anyways, interesting night. Couldn’t sleep, need some shuteye, but being in the same country as her makes me feel nervous and all feverish. Listening to old love tracks, pondering, wondering, what’s gonna happen next? Curious indeed. Well, I’m gonna hope that Larrie managed to get my designs printed, or all the work I’ve been doing the whole day is going to waste. If indeed I do make some cash out of this project, that’ll be awesome.

If shit happens, there’s always gonna be home. And I know I’ll always come home. At least I know I won’t be knocking up a girl anytime soon, not likely to happen due to various circumstances, heh. Good luck, good night, and I hope I manage to fall asleep soon. Seems like I’ve retained my falling off the bed habits while staying in my nightmares. Ciao, happy holidays folks.


it's 4:12 AM now