Shinocturne

-Isn't the same for everyone.
-Is hard to find.
-Isn't something someone can easily give to you, because you have to find it yourself.
-Is usually right there next to you, but you don't notice it.

Jibun no shiawase wa sagasu.

Any thoughts? Just bored really.

it's 8:43 PM now

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

This, That, Rant.

These are all my opinions. This is how I see things. If you're someone who can't accept someone else's opinions, I suggest you desist right here, and stop reading. Its for your own good.

*Warning : Highly Sensitive Issues Ahead*

Okay, so who's ever thought of commiting suicide? *raises his hands* Its a shameful thing, I know. But really, I've gotten over it, and I've learnt my lesson. It was wayyy back then. I won't say when or what the reason was, but I really felt like crap then. I didn't have anyone 'real'..as in nobody to turn to. Please, don't ask me why I was waiting for someone to come to me and not me going to someone. Its just that way, okay? I was young back then, didn't really know how to think straight. If I could bloody turn back time, I'd beat myself up till I bled if that was possible. So, understand a bit lar, I'm not trying to ask for kesian or anything, just want to let out some steam.

So, Case A :

Person A is an orphan. Person A was adopted. Person A has a bad mother, who drives her like a slave, and prime reason of adoption is to treat her like a maid. Person A's mom said this out loud. People heard her. Person A wants to die. Person A gives up hope. Person A attempts suicide. Person A's friends rescue her, right before she leaps off a building. Now, Person A doesn't know what to do, and her friends can't do anything either.

So, wtf does that have to do with us? You might be asking that. Well, as a fellow human being, and for someone who knows what she's going through, well, not quite, but more or less, I'd so love to help. But I'd so love to yell at her and slap her if I could. But too bad, I don't know her. Lol. Its a case. >_> So don't take it too seriously, it won't affect you anyways.

Life is given to you. You have to do something with it. You don't decide when you die, because you don't have the rights. Dying is painful. Trust me. You die, you can't change anything anymore. What, you think you'll sprout wings and float all the way to heaven? More like, your wings will be ripped off the moment you put them on. Dying is the stupid, selfish, so called easy way out of everything.

But, understand. Someone who is disappointed needs someone to drag them out of the dark, or sit with them in the darkness. Everyone is in need of a companion, one way or another. I don't mean a love life, alright? Just a friend, someone to talk to, someone who will console. This Person A, really needs to get a grip on life, because many people are trying to help her. If she won't listen, then I suggest her friends leave her alone for a while and get back to her when shes really ready to listen. Healing takes time, I suppose. If she's really upset, but she wants to continue living, I suggest she take the matter to the proper authorities. =
Anyways, thats all, for now. I didn't notice its actually this late I'm blogging. So I'm off to bed now. Sweet dreams everyone. I'll continue this some other time.

it's 10:57 PM now

Monday, September 11, 2006

September 11, 2006, 5 years after the incident.

Hmm, a moment of silence for those who lost their lives, and lost their loved ones on the dreadful and tragic September 11 (which I shall refer to as 911 from now on).

*peace and quiet*

Alright. I won't continue from my last blog, just want to have a prayer for all those whose souls aren't calm, whose souls are still tortured by the event that took place 5 years ago. Many speculations, and rumours have been spread since. For instance, the thing about the Devil causing the 911 incident. Bullshit. Why? Because some idiotic photographer took a picture of WTC from a certain angle, and the wind was blowing in that certain direction, making the smoke look like devil horns or something like that.

Well, the only story that I know from 911 is the story of the Church of St.Paul, located nearby (across the street or something) the WTC. When the debris, rocks, and chunks of the building came crashing down, lots of people below were hurt, and lots of buildings and properties were destroyed. But St.Paul's was left unscathed, no damage done to it. Okay, I'm not saying that its a miracle, because it could be a coincidence, but hey its still a blessing, ain't it? People claimed that they saw angels flying above the church, but I dunno whether they are telling the truth, or whether they were high on weed, or they actually saw people skydiving from the open windows of WTC.

Anyways, enough of that, I just wanted to pay my tributes and share that small story with you people. Oh, I got into a small debate today with J(One of my friends), regarding study methods. Lol, he reckons studying the whole day until midnight and until O levels will get you your good marks. (Which I highly doubt) My method is I study on and off. I study for 30 - 45 - 60 minutes, then have a small break, like 20 - 40 minutes the most. Well, what works for me, works for me, and I guess he'll stick to his method then. (I doubt anyone can face the book for more than 6 hours and still remember what they read, especially if they're burning the midnight oil) Well, I refuse to rant too much, otherwise I shall face the consequences of the dreaded Karma. (I realize some people don't like me too, lol, so I expect to kena cucuk belakang sometimes)

Anyways, G'night!

it's 10:56 PM now

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Misused, Misplaced, God's Grace...

Well, here I am again. Its the holiday season now, though its not really considered a holiday, since most of us are still dead busy. I guess the word holiday means nothing in Brunei. Putting that aside, I've been having a real bad month, or months for that matter. Not everything is bad, of course, there are still good news amongst the bad news, and life is ever full of blessings, maybe I just never notice.

GrACE ended two days ago, Saturday and Sunday being the GrACE event days itself. Was great, praised, worship, jumped, sang, and...well, I swallowed a vast amount of flour. Yes, baking flour. For your information, GrACE stands for Great Adventure (&) Catholic Event. (Of course its open lar, we're not racists or anything)

Overall it was a great event. I lost in the poster drawing competition though, lol, my artwork was too hmm..outstanding would be a compliment, but yeah, it was different from the others. I got the crappy paper, it was colourless, only black and white, little or no shading at all and a bit too Anime-ish.

Again, there was the AmazinG G-Race (Play on words, if you noticed) where we are given a set of obstacles to overcome. Team that wins, well, wins. I'm in Team Self-Control, lol. There's Team Patience, where Manzy, Min and Jess were in, and Team Commitment where Aby was in, other teams are Team Security, Team Contentment and theres probably one more, but I dun remember, lol.

Well, there were a lot of hidden lessons and blessings in GrACE that I discovered. For instance..Manzy lost her camera, well, that sucked. But in the process of looking for it, I think most of us got to bond. Like me and Ice? Lol, we went into the graveyard to look for the cam, and I suggested climbing the pigeon hole..and er..we went through people's underwear too. Then, theres the good news, bad news, and lots of other useful stuff in talks. Also learnt..you may seem like theres nothing good going on in your life, all shit, all things you don't have..but actually, if you take the time to notice..you have a lot of blessings already.

(To Be Cont'D, I'm too tired)

it's 8:49 PM now